When I was my father’s son, tender and the only one in the sight of my mother, he also taught me, and said to me: “Let your heart retain my words; keep my commands, and live. Get wisdom! Get understanding! … Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding. Exalt her, and she will promote you; she will bring you honor, when you embrace her. Proverbs 4:3–8 NKJV
These words are part of Solomon’s testimony about his upbringing, which he sought to pass on to his own children. God had him record this in Proverbs to preserve it for us, too, as part of His holy Word. In a world where so much is out of order, God still desires to “turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers” lest He have to “come and strike the earth with a curse” (Mal. 4:6).
Scripture quietly shows us that David failed as a father with his older sons. While he loved them, he was not firm with them, especially with Absalom, the outstanding one. First fleeing from Saul, then busy with wars and the affairs of state, he seems to have let his older sons indulge their passions and pleasures with no accountability or restraint (1 Ki. 1:6; 2 Sam. 13:6–7, 39). In many ways he was a model king, the man after God’s own heart. Yet by indulging himself with many wives and concubines, something God had expressly forbidden for Israel’s kings in Deuteronomy 17:17, he did not set a good example to his sons—and especially not when he took Bathsheba and then arranged for her husband’s death in battle to cover his sin (2 Sam. 11). What a bad example!
How could he have the moral power to keep his sons from similar wickedness? Children all too readily observe and follow the footsteps of their parents. May we who are parents ever keep this in mind! Let us be careful not only to give good instruction and wise counsel to our children, but also set them a godly example!